You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
