so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
