I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
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Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
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watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I pour the whiskey from now on
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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