there's paper in my vomit.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
