my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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