We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
