margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
