My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
