operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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