i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize