end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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