So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
this will be a night to untag.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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