i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
