if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
