Yo dont text me then not text me
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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