Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
