Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Your dad touched me again.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
