i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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