Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
