there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
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