Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
