drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
