I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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