Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
