their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My first STD was from a foam party
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
