so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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