Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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