Have you finally orgasmed yet?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
