the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
