i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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