im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
