; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
