wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize