I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
