They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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