A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
