i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i came on her dog
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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