need another drink. this is the easiest way
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
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woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
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Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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