Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
