SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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