Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize