what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
