I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
