i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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