Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
