I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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