You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize