4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I have surprise drugs for everyone
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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