my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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