he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Drunk is a universal language darling
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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