But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
