You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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