Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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