Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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