pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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