i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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