Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
then he tried to convert me to islam
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
