worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
