she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
