Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
