We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
