we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
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He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
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She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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