The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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