I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
